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Speakers: Erin Levine
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Speakers: Amanda Singer and Jennifer Segura
Marriage isn’t easy and while most Family Law Mediators work with clients going through divorce, there are times before couples get married and even during the marriage where mediation can provide beneficial conversations for the clients that keep them from getting divorced. This program will discuss mediation processes, strategies and examples for premarital and marital mediation. Premarital mediation can both educate the couple as well as create a fundamental basis for relationship success in handling their assets, finances, and other decisions during their marriage, while marital mediation can assist couples who may be heading towards divorce in turning their relationship around, and when coupled with therapy can be a gamechanger for their relationship. Adding premarital and/or marital mediation to your service offerings can allow you to expand the clients you work with and provide a rewarding experience for the mediator in setting clients up for a successful relationship built on a strong foundation.
Speakers: Marci Barrett and Cynthia Saffir
To many, “family mediation” is a tool to resolve disputes about who gets what in a divorce, and how child custody and visitation, child support, and so on, will be handled. Anger, resentment, and sometimes vengefulness, run high and the soon-to-be-divorced spouses have no interest in maintaining a relationship except as required for shared parenting. Come join Marci and Cynthia and learn about their practice of the “other family mediation,” Elder Family Mediation where the point is for family members to move forward together for the good of an aging parent and the relationships of the family members. Marci and Cynthia will talk about how their personal experiences with aging parents helps them connect with mediating family members, how they have laughed and even cried with families (and yes that really is okay,) and where they insist the entire family be together, eye to eye, throughout the entire mediation. Marci and Cynthia will share stories about mediations that lead to a “kumbaya” moment where the mediation concluded with hugs, planned holiday gatherings, and margaritas. They will also talk about the potential for getting emotionally drained, and how to remain neutral and convincing, even when you feel like tearing your or someone’s hair out!
Speakers: Zachary Taylor and Laura McGee
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Speakers: Crystal Williams and Josh Kershenbaum
When parents decide to restructure their families through separation or divorce, numerous education related decisions emerge. This is especially true when their children have disabilities. Children with special needs have special rights under state and federal special education laws. These laws are complex and provide critical supports and services for these children and their families. The intersection between special education laws and the divorce process is also complex and often unfamiliar both to parents and the professionals who support them through their family restructuring processes. In this session we will explore the ways in which having a disability-informed co-mediator or consultant in your Mediation or Collaborative Process can help us: (1) ask well-informed and useful questions about the children’s and parents’ needs; (2) help parents generate options and alternatives they might otherwise might not have considered; (3) facilitate the creation of more well-informed and enduring co-parenting/custody agreements; (4) refer parents to appropriate outside professional when needed; and (5) help parents prepare more effectively for their children’s transitions to adulthood and a more independent life.
Speakers: Bruce Fredenburg, M.S., LMFT and Carol Hughes, Ph.D., LMFT
As the divorce rate for adults 50 and older soars, so too does the number of adult children experiencing parental divorce. These usually ignored major stakeholders in their parents’ divorce range in age from 18 – 50+. Their feeling and experiences of shock, and fear from sudden, dramatic change are real, valid and generally dismissed. Key mistakes can damage parent-child relationships severely. You will learn valuable information to help your clients and their adult children protect their post divorce-family going forward.
This workshop examines the how later-life parental divorce affects adult children, grandchildren, divorcing parents, extended family and community support system relationships and why it is a mistake to overlook Adult Children as major stakeholders in their parents divorce.
Speaker: Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton
The custody of a pet is becoming as important to the divorcing parties as the custody of the kids. The latter can often speak and give the court guidance, the former cannot. Legislatures in Alaska, Illinois, California and NY, now require Courts to apply ‘best interests or wellbeing’ standard to their deliberation on awarding the family pet. This program provides attendees with the reasons why mediation is best in these discussions.You will gain the language and tools to help convince divorce attorneys and parties how to choose mediation in order to get it right over being right, about the pet. Everyone will be glad to find a viable, best outcome process that removes this issue from the Court. Join me and learn how to nip this conflict in the bud, before it nips the parties and the judge in the butt.
Speaker: Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
Bill Eddy will talk about the changes he’s seen in his 40 year career and some predictions for the future of family mediation.
Speaker: Sara Campos
RED CARD/GREEN CARD EXERCISE – A POWERFUL WAY TO HELP YOUR PARTIES IDENTIFY FEELINGS AND NEEDS – Following on the theme of the SCMA conference, this highly experiential and practical session will focus on “Building Inclusive Connections: Tools to Become a More Effective Peacemaker.” Sara Campos, Visiting Associate Director and Clinical Director of Loyola Center for Conflict Resolution, will guide participants through an exercise that assists parties in recognizing the feelings & needs of others, which is the first step towards empathy & connection.
The importance of social & emotional learning can not be underestimated, as it affects everything from learning, decision making, and creativity to relationships, health, and performance. Interestingly, research has indicated that the mean number of emotions that people can identify in themselves and others is three; commonly bad, sad, and glad. However, the list of core emotions can more accurately be listed as follows;
Anger, Anxious, Belonging, Blame, Curious, Disappointed, Disgust, Embarrassment, Empathy, Excited, Fear, Scared, Frustrated, Gratitude, Grief, Guilt, Happy, Humiliation, Hurt, Jealous, Joy, Judgment, Lonely, Love, Overwhelmed, Regret, Sad, Shame, Surprised, Vulnerability, Worried
Our goal as conflict resolvers is to help the parties have a conversation they have not been able to have. Usually, we do this by talking about the underlying needs and interests of the parties, but how do we identify what they are when most of our parties grew up not talking about their feelings or needs? This exercise is most effective when used in real-time during a mediation where parties’ emotions are running high and preventing good communication from occurring. This tool helps the parties share a difficult situation with each other and then allows the other party to recognize and identify the feelings as well as the unmet needs related to that experience.
Participants will receive a set of Red Card/Green Cards*, with definitions for each word, and instructions on how to conduct the exercise.
*Red Card/Green Card is based on the Nonviolent Communication work of Marshall Rosenberg
